There’s never a “good” time to break up, yet more couples than ever seem to choose December — around the Christmas period — for the split. What should be a joyful, festive time for children and couples alike often ends in sadness, tension, and confusion for some, while others may feel a sense of newfound freedom.
So why December?
According to psychotherapist Dr. Karen Phillip, the end of the year naturally encourages reflection. “We may have tolerated a partner, their behaviour, or family dynamics all year. When December arrives, we reassess our lives and often make a conscious decision to start the New Year fresh,” she explains. Dr. Phillip, author of OMG We’re Getting Married – 7 Essential Things to Know Before We Say I Do, adds that this period is high stress, and relationship strain often comes to a head.
December: The Stress Multiplier
“The end of the year is a time for reflection — we look at achievements, goals, and how we feel about our relationships,” says Dr. Phillip. “If we feel frustrated, upset, or disappointed and see no resolution, walking away can feel like freedom from ongoing stress.”
Financial pressure, family obligations, travel, and planning for the year ahead all compound stress. Some partners may also want to avoid buying gifts for someone they no longer love or pretending to be happy in front of family.
Handling the Strain
Dr. Phillip advises open communication. “Couples in crisis should discuss their feelings and consider counselling either after the holidays to resolve issues, or to separate more amicably. Remember, it’s rarely just about the couple — children, extended family, and friends are affected too.”
For those who choose to wait, she adds: “If you remain together through Christmas, prepare yourself mentally. This is the last time you may need to ‘perform’ the façade, and it allows you to move on with less tension.”
If Children Are Involved
“Whenever children are involved, it’s usually best to wait until after Christmas — or even New Year. Every child deserves a happy family Christmas. Waiting one or two weeks doesn’t diminish your needs as a parent, but it can reduce conflict and preserve memories of a united family celebration.”
Supporting Children Through a Breakup
“Children can experience lasting anger or confusion when a family unit changes. Don’t burden them with the reasons for separation. Instead, reassure them that both parents love them and will remain actively involved. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family to help manage this life-changing period.”
Are There Any Benefits to a December Breakup?
“While there’s never a perfect time, December does offer some advantages,” says Dr. Phillip. “Friends and family are often nearby to provide support, the summer months allow time outdoors to clear your mind, and you can begin planning for a fresh start with new goals and a renewed sense of self.”
Coping After a Breakup
Dr. Phillip emphasizes professional support: “Counselling can help both partners recover. A breakup is a major life event, whether you’re the one leaving or being left. It can trigger anxiety or depression, so self-care and support are vital. Sometimes, freeing yourself from a restricting relationship is the best step toward personal growth.”
About Dr. Karen Phillip
International author, speaker, and relationship expert Dr. Karen Phillip has nearly 20 years’ experience as a Counselling Psychotherapist. With a PhD in Sociology, she specialises in relationships and parenting, working with families worldwide — including high-profile clients. Her new book, OMG We’re Getting Married – 7 Essential Things to Know Before We Say I Do, guides couples on essential topics to safeguard their relationship before tying the knot.
